Getting older is fine. Feeling older stinks.

Seems like yesterday I was standing in my English classroom, which was also now the new “Media” classroom, preparing to teach TV for the first time.

I had two sections, one with 32 students, the other 33, and my only background was in print journalism in college and high school. Twenty years and two months later, we have a studio, a dozen cameras, 14 edit bays, a separate classroom, and every piece of equipment we need to do our little show. In fact, we are currently working on “HTV Magazine” number 174, which seems impossible.

My hair was dark brown in the fall of 1989, I wore glasses, and I was still coaching baseball. Now, the ever-thinning hair is grey, I have contact lenses, and I have not filled out a line-up card in 15 years.

I still get up excited to work on HTV and The Friday Show, but now I automatically awaken way too early, around 5 a.m. I’m dead by 8 or 9 at night. Those Saturday HTV work days are no longer as fun as they used to be. The kids seem to have a little less time to stay late or come in early. Maybe I don’t insist like I used to. Mellowing happens.

The novelty and excitement of producing a TV show has faded a bit because, thanks to Youtube and other online portals, anyone can upload video to share with the world, and it seems the dumber it is, or the more shocking it is, the more young people will watch. In general, across the nation, fewer kids want to do serious journalism. They would rather create the next big, pointless clip to “go viral.”

The equipment is changing again, and I have been through a lot of that since 1989. We have 12 GL2 camcorders, and are thankful for them. We will be one of the last programs on earth to go HD or to use tapeless cameras, I imagine, due to budget concerns, or maybe due to my concern that schools need to worry a little less about the bells and whistles and focus on finding, training, encouraging and championing reporters who will tackle tough stories, kids who will dare someone to take away their freedom to report the truth and question authority. I am probably itching for more First Amendment battles than most advisers, because I hear about very few of those in scholastic broadcasting these days. Many of us are not pushing the envelope like we should. Some of us aren’t even opening the envelope in the first place.

There have been moments to celebrate in my program in 2009. A memorable “convergence” bus tour where we saw a lot of the eastern and southern U.S. and shared it all with those who followed us online. A great ten days I’ll never forget. I probably have one more of those in me before I head into the sunset.

HTV won the “STN Excellence Award” last March, and we were all very thrilled, then we experienced the letdown of being a Pacemaker finalist, but not a winner. We have won ten times in the past, but not in 2009. It was another reminder that broadcast contests should not be your reason to exist. If it is, you will get your heart broken frequently by decisions made by judges whom you will likely never meet.

I have been bolstered more than I expected this fall by my Broadcast I class, which shows tremendous potential. They have enthusiasm, talent, and so far, the dedication to work after school until the job is done. The HTV staff has been improving each month, and their understanding that they have not done their best show yet gives me plenty of hope for them in the weeks and months ahead.

So as 2009 draws to a close, I look back with with a lot of great memories, and the realization that as I venture further into the twilight of my teaching career, we still have plenty of great stories in our future here at Hillcrest, stories by teens, for teens.

See you on the other side of the new year.